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I have a two member software start-up with a co-founder who is also a very good friend.

We make decent money through our products and services, but could do much much better if my co-founder did not waste 5 to 6 hours every day on social networking and the like.

I have tried giving him 1-on-1 objective feedback, but he is the kind who does not believe much in giving or receiving feedback, and retaliates by becoming negative if someone wants to give him some feedback. The situation is even more delicate because we are good friends with each other, and have close family ties too.

How should I tell him that I find it very difficult to work with a person who wastes so much time every day? Or should I just make an excuse and exit ?

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Maybe he just likes it the way it is and he sees you as being too driven and demanding. He might be very happy and comfortable with working leisurely and making enough, whereas you want to get bigger and work hard and lots of hours. He's not the problem - your expectations are. – TimJ Jan 6 '12 at 21:52
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You might just need to restructure the payments so that your harder/more work is compensated appropriately relative to him. He can participate as he feels appropriate and you don't have to give up a good thing and you don't carry him so much. – TimJ Jan 6 '12 at 21:54
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Doesn't believe in feedback? Sounds like a pretty crappy/irrational person. – Mark Canlas Jan 20 '12 at 22:25
Elsewhere on the site: "How do I tell my co-founder to calm the hell down and enjoy the ride?" – EpiGrad 17 hours ago

8 Answers

up vote 4 down vote accepted

Can't add much to the two excellent answers already given, but I will add a couple of observations...

"feedback" can very often be received as unfair criticism, especially if you are feeling resentful whilst delivering it, which may be why he's becoming negative. If he's marketing and SEO, like Don suggested it may be he thinks it part of his role.

You also need to decide for yourself now if the friendship or the business is more important to you. In attempting to get him to put in a fair balance, however diplomatically, you may find yourselves starting down a path that puts the friendship at risk. My gut feel would be to make only limited efforts to get him to sort his act out, then get out fast - or you risk spending 6 months trying to make the impossible work, building up resentments on both sides (and absolutely burn the friendship on the way out).

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Thanks for the answer. It does feel like I'm trying to make the impossible work sometimes. You're probably right about the feedback thing too - I might have been a bit resentful while delivering it once or twice. – Fox Jan 6 '12 at 20:46

Good friends probably shouldn't become business partners.

You are saying (essentially) that your friend's participation is parasitic.

Do each of you have well defined roles and duties? Do you just expect him to figure out what needs doing? Maybe he is too much of a follower and/or employee mindset type to act independently.

What are his duties supposed to be? Marketing and outreach? The social networking could be viewed by him as a necessity for his job. Given your description, you should determine jointly with him what your roles in the business are.

Assuming that he claims that he is filling the role appropriately, you should quantify the effort that each of you is making toward the business, along with a justification for that effort. Usually (not always) the unit measurement of net effort is hours.

Telling someone that they are wasting so much time every day is always subject to argument - there's no quantification so the other person can always say "no, I don't." Nailing down a list of tasks and/or duty areas and quantifying each person's effort level are a step toward creating a much less arguable contention.

If you can show that you spend 10 hours to every 2 of his on the business then the imbalance becomes very apparent even to him.

As far as separating, good luck on that. It's a lot easier to be selective about your partners up front then to get disentangled from them. In most partnership formats, company assets are owned equally, like marriage. I have anecdotally heard of several startups that were formed in haste with immature members and a small minority winds up saddled with all the work while the rest expect to ride his/her coat tails. The one worker bee is essentially stuck with parasites who will share the wealth and none of the work.

The bottom line is - you may have to buy this person out for cash if you want him to not profit from your work.

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*get out now.*you don't trust your business partner to manage his time, that is an awful basis for a partnership. It can only get worse.

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agreed. If not, come up with a different product and have this one as a practice run, fun hobby, buddy project. What will the two of you face when you bring customers into the mix? – Kelly Cooper Jan 6 '12 at 22:51

You need to manage him by setting milestones and dates for progress and projects.

Don't try to dictate what he does during the day, that will come across as "micro managing" and won't get positive responses.

Instead say "We need to build widget Foo for customer Y. They are ready to buy, but we have to deliver in (target minus 7 days), can you pull this together?" He may want to negotiate for a longer time (that why you pre-pad the delivery date with a shortened schedule), but either way, let him have a part in defining the date within reason.

Then, don't worry about WHEN he chooses to work throughout the day, just focus on the final deliverable, along with checkpoints along the way.

Now, if you do this, and he still doesn't meet the date, your conversation will seem less critical. You both agreed on a macro-goal and gave him the freedom to work how/when/where he felt it was most efficient for himself. As a business, you need to be able to project timelines, take on new features, and so on. If he cannot be managed high-level, and he is opposed to direct feedback and management, how does he suggest you continue to make this a viable business? (rhetorical question).

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I've tried this a few times (macro-goal setting), but never in such an organized fashion. Thanks for the suggestion ! – Fox Jan 6 '12 at 20:41
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A few thoughts. This is an excellent business management recommendation. However, the OP's main problem appears to be the equity of relative level of effort spent. Suppose that the other partner cherry picks goals that allow him to be utilized at a far lower level than the OP, yet he can claim that he gets everything done? Also, if the partners are equal, then one partner managing another may not be feasible due to push-back (IE, no boss/subordinate role is in place). So I think the best that the OP can do is to make an air tight, inarguable case. – user2757 Jan 7 '12 at 2:55

Well, I can relate to you since I've had the exact same experience. In my case, however, it wasn't that he was lazy. I was more of the "go getter" and he was too risk aversive.

At the end of the day, you need to find someone with complementary skills and someone who certainly doesn't slack off. That quality doesn't work in any kind of business setting. So if you've already tried to offer feedback and have failed... try again!

But if it's still not working out, offer to buy his share out or move on.

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Disclosure: I'm affiliated with a commercial performance management software service.

If someone is lazy, that means they are not meeting expectations of the other players. To that end, what I would suggest is two things.

1) Start doing regular check-ins about expectations and review outcomes. A weekly meeting generally suffices.

2) Tie executing on expectations to compensation/incentives. And make it equal - that is, you treat them the same way they treat you. This way there is no double-standard.

Then who cares if he spends 6 hours on social networking so long as he gets his work done. If there are only two of you, consider getting an advisor involved in the discussion - someone your partner would respect.

I've spent the last year working on this problem and built a performance management system to calculate impact based on performance evaluations (fairsetup.com). This could work, or there are other ways that you could do it. I would just focus on the goals (growing the business, ensuring traction, meeting milestones, etc.)

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Hi Nikita, and welcome. :-) Your original post straddled the border between spam and relevant content. I have tried to edit it to make it acceptable as per the FAQ (see upper menu). – Jesper Mortensen Oct 21 '12 at 11:31

Ive seen similar issues myself and the best thing I think one can do in this scenario is build a stronger team without him..

Suggest to him that you both dissolve 10% each to get someone in on 20% equity. Ok you lose 10% but you now have a team member who is actually helping you. If you can do that a couple of times, you have diluted the impact his laziness has - but then new two new members can sell to each other and they get controlling share of business! So gotta tune equity/contracts to deal with that

Depending on your contracts with each other you can consider:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stock_dilution

But some might consider this underhand?!

Start paying large performance linked salaries, see if it motivates him?

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He is lazy / wastes 5-6 hours every day on social networking and the like

Okay - whether it is wasteful or not depends on what actually gets delivered at the end of the week. Many people search for inspiration / input from others while formulating a plan of attack. Others just post what they just ate.

Rather than labeling what (s)he does as "waste", why not focus on gaining consensus on what the current task at hand is, and working on sharing progress status / discussions / insights on a continuous basis? Sometimes what looks trivial to one is actually not so trivial to actually implement.

This way, you (both) have a better understanding what progress is being made and whether you both (as an organization) are working towards a common goal.

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