How to bootstrap when you have a high social overhead?

has to maintain a certain salary

We all make choices in our lives, and they sometimes close doors. If you need a certain steady income, then maybe a startup isn't for you. That said, it can be done if you want to.

Should they just seek seed funding and stop dreaming about organically growing a business?

No. First off, seed funding is unlikely to provide for a high salary to you. Unless your idea is truly exceptional and you seem just the guy to manage the effort, you should generally expect seed funding to only cover base operating expenses and ramen-noodle salaries.

When you say "stop dreaming about organically growing a business", what do you really mean? If you mean "build a company worth 100M Dollars without risks and external financing", then forget it. If you mean "gradually build a small business on the side while keeping risks minimal", then that's absolutely possible.

"Bootstrapping" isn't only about people in their twenties who work full-time on the next big thing. It also applies to grown-ups who gradually build a business in their evenings while keeping their day job.

Another common approach, if you have market-able skills, is to go out and do consulting to cover living expenses, and then work on your own product in the periods where consulting isn't filling out your time.

I guess you could say that I am in the similar situation to you. I don't have all the answers, but yes time is the main problem. I sat down with my wife and poured out my dreams and what starting a business meant to me. I wasn't sure what she would say, but once she knew how important it was to me, she began to help out i.e. she would put the kids bed when it was my turn, she would sit and discuss things with me when I had trouble deciding what to do with a particular problem. Sure, it can be tough, but with your partners help and support you can work through it.

Don't expect her to do everything though, as you will need to spend time with the family. It's a good distraction. You could pick a time frame to give her some idea of how long this will go on i.e. two months. You can adjust this later with her, but keep her in the loop all the time. I used to keep my wife in the dark with some of this stuff, but I found that when she knew what was happening it worked out better.

Set yourself realistic deadlines. There is not point in saying I need to get this done by tomorrow if you know you won't. You'll just keep thinking that you are behind. Don't race and don't rush. I used to rush to get things done, but on reflection I could have done the same work over a few nights and it wouldn't have made any difference.

You aren't alone in this problem, but the key thing is to keep on moving forward. Use your family as support, don't alienate yourself from them. Good luck!

if you have 10 hours a week to dedicate to a project you can grow your own business. It also helps to have a partner in the business (regardless of any other specific details)

Jesper's answer covers most of the options. One, obvious, other thing is to save for a while while you're working on your project in the evenings so that when you're ready to bite the bullet, you have 6 months or so where you can afford not to work.

I started my first company with a bonus I got from my day job. During the first 8 months I didn't take a salary at all. After than I took a salary that was 45% of my day job salary. Only after 4 years did I pay myself a salary that was higher than my regular job, though I have to admit that if it was a priority, I could have done it earlier.

Bootstrapping is tough, but you're the master of your own destiny. You don't have to spend time on managing your board, and you get to make all the decisions for good and bad.